July 10, 2008

Relationship

I’m not one of those Baptists who know the exact day and time and place of their salvation. I’ve always heard about Jesus from my grandmother or my aunt and uncle and other members of my family and I sincerely believed in my heart that Jesus Christ is the son of God and that He died for my sins so that I may have eternal life with Him.

I believed that when I had my 8th grade confirmation at a church in Nashville where I was the only girl NOT wearing a white dress (I didn’t know any better). I believed it all throughout high school and into college. I believed it when I walked the aisle at another altar call in Ft. Lauderdale while I was about 20 years old. I always wanted to go up to the altar because I just wasn’t sure if I was saved. If you don’t know for sure that you are saved then sometimes when preachers are giving altar calls you kind of question your salvation.

There’s no question now.

However, nothing in my life showed that I was a Christian. It took me years to realize that it not only takes believing and asking Jesus to come into your heart- it takes a relationship. I adore fellowship with my Savior. I adore reading the Word of God and being in Christian fellowship with my fellow brothers and sisters of Christ. Why did it take so long to realize that that’s all I needed?

I am sad that I’ve missed out on that relationship for the last 26 or so years. A relationship- but not just any relationship- it’s the most important relationship of all. More important than the relationship with my husband or my children. I firmly believe that if your relationship with God is where it should be, everything else falls in place.

Oh, the pain I could have been spared had I known Jesus in my childhood and longed to follow Him as I do now. I can’t get enough of Him now. My favorite time of day is when I can sit alone and read His word and speak to Him and listen. That’s an important part of the relationship too- not just to ask and ask and ask but to listen. I want to be silent and be still and know for certain that God is leading me in my life. I’m working on that.

I knew when I got married that I needed to have the kind of family that goes to church and takes their kids to all the church events and it took me a few years into marriage to just grasp that concept- to have that lightbulb turned on.

DUH- my Savior wants a relationship with ME.

He longs for it as I do. He longs for me even though he knows my past, my present, my future. He knows my heart and He loves me anyway.

Oh how precious.

Thank you God for turning that light bulb on (even though it took 30 years). Now I just look forward to that sweet fellowship with God for the rest of my life.

Holding On,
Michelle